My Doctor
by Faramirlover
Summary: Set after the final episode of series 4 in Pete's world. Spoilers for that episode. Fluffy an angsty in equal measure. ROSEx10.5


**A/N: **Right, I cried so hard at 'Journey's End' that I needed a bit of closure. And this is my closure. I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing at all. It all belongs to Russell T Davies.

**Warning: **Spoilers for episode 4.13 – Journey's End

**My Doctor**

They stood on the beach, silently regarding each other as the waves splashed and the seagulls cried and Jackie's voice floated to them on the breeze from where she'd moved to to get enough signal on her mobile to call Pete. After a few minutes there was the unmistakeable sound of a mobile being flipped shut and Jackie stopped talking. It took a moment for her to reach the pair of them, her feet sliding slightly on the wet sand.

"Pete says he's heading over with the helicopter. Should be a couple of hours."

Neither Rose nor the Doctor, if he could still be called the Doctor, replied but Jackie did not seem surprised by this.

"I'll leave you two to talk," she said, before wandering away along the beach.

But still they didn't talk, only watched each other, hardly moving except for slow breathing, in and out, in and out. There was a moment where Rose opened her mouth to speak and the Doctor's breath caught in his throat but she closed it again with a small sad shake of the head and he let out a silent sigh.

They stayed like that, until the sounds of a helicopter could be heard overhead and moments later it appeared over the top of the sand dunes and touched down in the middle of the beach. The flight back to the Tyler mansion was quiet, apart from Pete asking what had happened and Jackie babbling on about everything apart from anything of importance.

When the helicopter circled the mansion it was dark apart from the twinkling lights of the stars and the warm glow from some of the mansion windows. They second they touched down Rose had wrenched the door open and had run out into the night. Jackie just sighed resignedly and Pete looked confused. They sit still for a moment before Jackie eventually snaps.

"For Gods sake! Don't just sit there looking like a kicked puppy. Go after her!"

The Doctor scrambled to obey, partly because it was what he had wanted to do but was too unsure to act and partly because he was downright terrified of Jackie.

He didn't even notice it was raining as he followed Rose through the night. He found her, stood on top of a hill, overlooking the city, whose lights were dancing through the veil of shimmering rain. She made no sign that she knew he was there, only remained facing away from him. For a moment he considered that she really didn't know but then she started talking, her words almost tumbling over each other in an attempt to make themselves heard.

"I used to stand up here, everyday, waiting for him to find me. I thought that he'd come. I always believed that he'd come. And _you_ have. But you're not really him, are you?"

"But I am, Rose. I really am."

"But you're not," she said, turning to him at last "You're not really. How could you be? There's only one Doctor. The lonely God. The lonely angel. The last of the Time Lords. The traveller. The wanderer. The one without a home. _The _Doctor. In his TARDIS. Saving the universe. All alone."

And she dropped down onto the wet grass, crying, unable to speak anymore.

"Rose…" the Doctor knelt before her, brushing the hair from in front of her eyes and turning her chin up to look at him.

"You're right, Rose. Of course you are. I'm not him. But I also _am_ him. I'm the Doctor as he would be if he was allowed to stay with you. I'm the Doctor that can do what he wants and stay here and try and make you happy. Because that's all he wanted to do Rose, make you happy. And that's all I want to do. I'm the Doctor's dreams. I'm not _the _Doctor, Rose, but I'd really like to be _your _Doctor. We both love you so much Rose. Let me try and make you happy. For him."

Rose stared at him for moment, unsure of herself or him.

"No," she said eventually and the Doctor felt his one heart break "not just for him. Make me happy for youtoo. My Doctor."

She was smiling at last and the Doctor couldn't help but laugh and pull her into his arms and kiss her with everything he had. For every time that he had wanted to and for every time that he hadn't allowed himself and for every moment that he and Rose would share and the other Doctor could never have.

Eventually they broke apart. The rain had stopped and the stars seemed to shine a little brighter, or that could have been his imagination. They rose from the ground, hands clasped together.

"I don't know if I love you," Rose said, looking down at their entwined fingers for a moment before meeting the Doctor's gaze square on "but I'm willing to try."

He smiled again and she smiled too. Her special smile that no one ever got to see but him.

"Come on then, Miss Tyler, let's go home."

She nodded, and for once, she was leading the way to a new adventure and he was the one that was lost in new world. And, lord, did it feel fantastic.

**OOOOOO**

**A/N: **Ta da! What do people think of it? Reviews will be adored. Unless they are mean. Then less adoration more sobbing will be involved.


End file.
